Vacation Haiku

Dear Fellow Sojourners: Wisdom for the road. No charge. If inspired, feel free to write your own. Remember 5-7-5. ROAD TRIP HAIKU Recalculating. Whose voice is that anyway? Recalculating. Why do truck stops sell Sushi? (You know it’s raw fish?) At room temperature When you tell a kid We’re stopping at a greasy spoon They actually check the spoon. When I’m on the road. I’m almost never disgusted by a McDonald’s bathroom. “Who will go for us?” “Here I am. Send me!” Isaiah six, eight. On the road I think I eat beef jerky and combos More than when I’m home. There is one thing worse Than endless construction zones. Tailgating semis. AIR TRAVEL HAIKU Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. How old’s the kid one row back? Really? He’s 30? You can push all day. In the overhead compartment. Your bag still won’t fit. At the baggage claim If we all took three steps back Everyone could see! CAMPING HAIKU We pitched the tent, but . . . If you still hear the highway Is it real camping? Words that bring rejoicing. “This campground has flush toilets!” We may stay a week! Camping reveals why Forty years in the desert. Was a bit frustrating. If you think you are A pup tent or a tepee. Relax! You’re too tense. Bears at Yellowstone Are fond of kids in sleeping bags They’re like jelly donuts. SELF-SERVING HAIKU In your travels, please. At all truckstops and airports. Look to find my books. May your summer journeys be safe, enlightening, and a total blast, /jay